learning to take a breath

Even though I’ve taken a break from posting on my blog, I haven’t taken a break elsewhere.

I have been working hard at my day job, adding more freelance work to my daily schedule, researching and submitting to journals for my poetry, and adding more classes in my weeks by taking independent courses and certification classes on Philanthropy University and +Acumen in attempts to learn more about NGO’s and the nonprofit world so hopefully one day I can get a job.

On top of that, I am in the midst of working to get a new apartment, trying to sleep enough, keep tabs on my mental health, do chores, house cleaning, and errands, have time for leisure, research venues to volunteer my time for charities, and have a social life.

Needless to say, one would think I am on the way to burnout.

In which, you would be right. I’ve already burned out more than once in the past month alone.

You didn’t know today was going to be a selfish post about my personal life, did you?

In times of personal stress, I watch Lavendaire, MuchelleB, and Rowena Tsai on YouTube. They remind me that not only self-care is important, but reminding yourself of your purpose for existing will keep your mental health levels in check. Your sanity will remain constant. Your energy will improve.

I just need to take that time for myself, which I have not done. The balance in my life is wack right now.

I spent the last two days lying in bed reading books. I felt guilty about it because now I’m behind on so much. I haven’t done my Weekly Reset in 3 weeks (will discuss in a future post), I should have caught up on my independent courses, I should have done some homework (even though I didn’t have any immediately due). The list goes on.

I haven’t caught up on my to do list from a week ago.

I need a catch up day to do all my things.

I just need a week to sleep.

Boy, do I wish I didn’t have those thoughts anymore.

But sitting and typing this has also made me realize I have a problem, I need to balance my time, but I just don’t know how.

I have so many goals I want to achieve, and the issue is, I want to achieve them in a short amount of time. So, I pack them tightly until I have no room left in my schedule or my brain.

I guess the first step is to pause, for even a second… and take a breath.

Then maybe the rest will follow.

Thanks for allowing me to write this post today. It’s not much, it doesn’t even have any great insights, and I know it’s not particularly fun. But it helped me even a little bit on a day I feel pretty overwhelmed, so in that regard, I find it valuable.

Cheers! xoxo